Or, as my neighbors in the Great White North say, “aboot.”

My name is Patty, with a Y, not an I. (Yes, like Patty Mayonnaise from the old Nickelodeon TV show Doug. No, you may not call me that.) I live and go to college in the South. I’ve got a love/hate relationship with that. I’ve lived in three different countries before the age of 25 and have that many passports, all legit. Been writing since the age of nine and hope to do it for many more years — even better if at some point I start getting paid for it! If you ask my darling mother (whom I resemble like whoa), I’ve been high maintenance since I made my debut into this world. I beg to differ. My earliest makeup memories involve rooting around in her zip-top makeup pouch — which she still owns to this day — and smelling her L’Oreal lipsticks in all their waxy glory. That smell is still what lipstick is supposed to smell like to me. My mom is still the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I rescued an 11-year-old miniature poodle from the pound about six months ago and in turn, she rescued me. But that’s another sappy story for another day. You’ll see a lot of her toothless mug on here. Insider’s tip: don’t call her ugly-cute lest you incur my wrath.

I got bit by the beauty bug, HARD, two years ago and haven’t looked back. I can’t paint, sculpt, draw, or sketch, so colored creams and powders for the face was my next best option. I started this blog because hey, it’s 2011. If nothing else, the Internet has given me a false sense of my own importance and grandeur. And I figure my endless photos and musings on beauty might be helpful to someone else. Maybe. That is, until 2012, when the world ends in a fiery blaze of ze missiles and zombie apocalypse.

Snarky and grumpy though I may seem, I’m actually pretty friendly, especially when it comes to people who take time out of their day to read the things I write. Comment about anything! Even if it’s to tell me and my huge pores to get off the intarwebz. Though, trolls take note: it’s going to take a lot more than that to get to me. Oh, and you suck. Non-trolls: you are the business and always welcome here.


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